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Struggling To Ask For A First Date? Here's How To Do It Right!

By Ishan Sharma

Updated - Dec. 23, 2019 5 min read

To proclaim love is one of the most important things in life. And asking someone out for a date is the stepping stone for these decisions. Many of us feel that asking someone out is always an awkward situation to be in and for many, it's a casual thing, irrespective of what and how things proceed further. But such things are always important for your future perspectives about love and before getting into a serious commitment, you should map the gap between you and your date's personalities. Such first dates may not always end up into relationships, but asking for one is more a topic to proceed with right now. And hence the dilemma, how to do that and what to keep in mind?  


Image Courtesy: E-Harmony


So today, let's answer all the questions around - how to ask 'the one' for a first date?


Make Sure That He/She Is In A Great Mood Before

Asking someone for a date, especially in India, where a more conservative approach and irrelevant conceptions are always upheld over the practicality of life, is to be done with a thoroughly conscious and a very careful approach! Stepping up to someone who's not in a good mood right then is going to ruin any such possibility for the future as well. So, before bringing up the topic, make sure that you know about the temperature around. A fumed up mind is sure to run over your expectations more ruthlessly when if you're not getting a yes. 


Image Courtesy: Next Feed



Be Specific - Show That You've Got Something Up Your Sleeve

Never come up with tentatives, instead, come up with something specific, ask out for a Monday, or some specific date and nothing like "would you go on a date with me sometime"? Such things would only make things difficult for you! You would have to ask again and the probability of a rejection sustains. So, just make sure that you have something, a broad plan in your mind before coming up with such requests. And instead, ask, "what about a movie this Wednesday?" or "How about we sit over a cup of coffee at the Hard Rock Cafe on the 6th this month?". Specifics are always more comfortable to be dealt with. And it gives the other person a surety that you want this with the whole of your heart. 


Image Courtesy: Mantelligence


Always "Keep It Simple Sweetheart" - KISS

Keeping things simple is the key to a perfect first date request. Don't go overboard with flowers and gifts and compliments, but keep it subtle. Just make sure to ask your date in a very casual manner, simply choose the right & respectful words and the rest is going to be just fine. Anything over and above is going to raise concerns and the last thing to work in your favour is your date thinking that you're too desperate to go on a date or that there's something fishy!   


Image Courtesy: Style Caster


Do It When You Feel Good

Confidence is a great support in asking someone out. And when you're feeling good about the day, you're going to be just as fine with the need. When you think you look good, and when the smile on your face hasn't lost shape since morning, just walk up the aisle of love and to the person you wish to go out with, to say what's on your mind. 


Image Courtesy: Well + Good


Always Give Ample Time Before You're Planning A Date

Although you can go ahead with a date as soon as possible as well, it would be preferable for both of you if there's enough time before the date. Such a gap would ensure that you have things in order and when you'll have plenty of time to plan it up well & good, your date is sure to be on the best note possible! For a suggestion, take at least 7-10 before you head out and plan for everything possible. From the fun elements to the dining options and how to commute, make sure that you have thought of everything and everything as such is communicated to your 'date' as well. 


Image Courtesy: Reader's Digest



Don't Expect Your Date To Plan It Up

Expecting 'the one' to come up with the entire plan and asking questions like "would you go out with me" and "where would you like to go", cannot be on the same page of conversation. Suggestions should always be welcomed but the whole scenario is still something you would have to come up with. Such a commanding plan is sure to get more approvals and if you leap on your date to make such decisions, you're presenting yourself as someone with no direction in life, let go of a single date, which is surely not happening anymore. 


Image Courtesy: Flipboard


Handle Rejection With Grace

You might be the finest brewed tea but the other one might just prefer coffee. Rejections are not always about you, just remember that! There may be something going on in your wished-to-be date's life and if the other person is not looking up to anything as such, then stop being a pile on. Wait for the right time instead and with the same courtesy and respect, and if luck's by your side, maybe things may change for better and if not, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Also, no matter what the reason may be, you simply cannot become different after facing rejection. Such things portray your unstable state of mind and hence make you incompetent for a dating proposal. 


Image Courtesy: Fluent in 3 months


Asking for a date is not a big issue if you take a chilled out route down the alley. Just don't be anything more than what you'd normally be and don't make it that huge an issue. We know such things matter when you think that you've found the right one in your life and you wish a relationship or friendship or just a brief word about the two of you, no matter how and why, but still do, then you should consider that there's someone else in the picture as well. And rushing into such a decision and making someone else feel bad or uncomfortable with it is the last thing you should cause. So be confident, but also be prepared for a rejection, there's nothing wrong about it, only a difference of opinions!  



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